Q&A

The Question:
How do you know when you have gone too far? How are you supposed to know if you have pushed the limit? Is it when your friends tell you or is it when you feel so? If you decide you have done so how does one know if they are over exaggerating or not? How can one decide anything when they have so many people telling them something different? How can one read someone who will say one thing and act another way? How can anyone with hold crucial information? Information that can drastically alter their world.  How does one decide wether they are independent or dependent without knowing every side to every tale inside and out?

The Answer:
You never know, you can only do what is best for you. Life is about creating and accepting your own limits and only you yourself can know when you have uncomfortably exceeded said limits. If you believe people are with holding information from you so what? Welcome to the world kiddo! Think of why they have decided to keep this "vital information" from you. They must have a reason. And who cares if you don't know things life is much better with the unexpected! Look around! Open your eyes! See past the drama! Stargaze! Love unconditionally! Laugh uncontrollably! Be the most loyal friend you can be! Never look back and never regret, look into the distance and find your future.

So What?

So what if i am comfortable with myself? When I get ready in the morning i am happy with the way i look. I know i have dressed for me, primped my hair for me and applied my make up for me. When i speak i speak the truth, maybe not everyones truth but my own. I have my own opinions that others may not agree with. So what? Why should i try to impress them? I may not be the best at allot of things but i am my personal best. I strive to bring joy to others and bring a smile to a strangers face. But i will not jump through hoops to impress someone. I shouldn't have to impress anyone, and if they expect this of me; They are not worth my time.

Solitude

I want a place to run and hide

  I want to leave all my troubles behind

     I don't regret what happened

       I don't regret what I did

         I regret what you said

            I regret how you spoke to me

              One day I will find the right one 

                 I will then change my ways

                    Only then there will be
                                                                   peace

In a year's time

    How do you know when someone isn't coming back? How do you deal with losing someone who was the best part of your day? How do you walk around the house knowing you don't have those tiny paws that you have immortalized time and time again aren't following you? How do you lye in bed knowing that little ball of fur you live for isn't at your side, nestled under the covers wrapped tightly in your arms? How do you move the things she once used; her crate, her dishes, her toys, her pillows, her blankets? Where do you put them? Do you leave them in their place hoping she will come running down the stairs and into your arms? Do you move them into the garage to catch dust out of eyesight instead of inside the house where you can be reminded of her memory daily?

    I now know that after a year she isn't coming back. That her crate in my room is catching dust, isn't going to be inhabited again. Her dishes have since been moved out of sight into the garage, her blanket now has a home on my bed post and her pictures loiter my room. Her ashes sit on my top shelf, in  a beautiful urn i haven't seen in a years time for i haven't taken her out of the box.

    Today i am buying a new dresser that will go in my room where Belle's crate is. My puppy's crate will go into the garage to catch dust out of sight. Today I will also take my little Bellerina's urn out of the box to show it's beauty. I can no longer bear the sight of these things, I miss her too much but one thing is for sure, I will never forget the impact Belle had on my life and the eternal love she gave me on a daily basis.

White Oleander by Janet Fitch

“I don’t know how to express that being with someone so dangerous was the last time that I felt safe.” -Astrid

"Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself... know what you want." -Ingrid

"Everybody asks why I started at the end and worked back to the beginning. The reason is simple-I couldn’t understand the beginning until I had reached the end. There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing, too much you would never tell.” -Astrid

“She would be half a planet away, floating in a turquoise sea, dancing by moonlight to flamenco guitar.” -Astrid

"The pearls weren't really white, they were a warm oyster beige with little knots in between so if they broke, you only lost one. I wished my life could be like that, knotted up so that even if something broke, the whole thing wouldn't come apart." -Astrid

“in a perverse way, i was glad for the stitches, glad it would show, that there would be scars. what was the point in just being hurt on the inside? i thought of the girl with the scar tattoos at the crenshaw group home. she was right, it should bloody well show.” -Astrid

Simple Magic

The world is full of magic,

Ours for the making and ours for the taking

Don't look with your   

                                             eyes

instead; 

                                                                   see

 with your soul

grasp the colours of the trees,

 feel the wind caress your cheek 

and whisper in your ear

 become bewitched

                               by a child's laughter, 

see the knowledge in a seniors eyes

Appreciate 

the simplest things, for no day is like another