Solitude

I want a place to run and hide

  I want to leave all my troubles behind

     I don't regret what happened

       I don't regret what I did

         I regret what you said

            I regret how you spoke to me

              One day I will find the right one 

                 I will then change my ways

                    Only then there will be
                                                                   peace

In a year's time

    How do you know when someone isn't coming back? How do you deal with losing someone who was the best part of your day? How do you walk around the house knowing you don't have those tiny paws that you have immortalized time and time again aren't following you? How do you lye in bed knowing that little ball of fur you live for isn't at your side, nestled under the covers wrapped tightly in your arms? How do you move the things she once used; her crate, her dishes, her toys, her pillows, her blankets? Where do you put them? Do you leave them in their place hoping she will come running down the stairs and into your arms? Do you move them into the garage to catch dust out of eyesight instead of inside the house where you can be reminded of her memory daily?

    I now know that after a year she isn't coming back. That her crate in my room is catching dust, isn't going to be inhabited again. Her dishes have since been moved out of sight into the garage, her blanket now has a home on my bed post and her pictures loiter my room. Her ashes sit on my top shelf, in  a beautiful urn i haven't seen in a years time for i haven't taken her out of the box.

    Today i am buying a new dresser that will go in my room where Belle's crate is. My puppy's crate will go into the garage to catch dust out of sight. Today I will also take my little Bellerina's urn out of the box to show it's beauty. I can no longer bear the sight of these things, I miss her too much but one thing is for sure, I will never forget the impact Belle had on my life and the eternal love she gave me on a daily basis.

White Oleander by Janet Fitch

“I don’t know how to express that being with someone so dangerous was the last time that I felt safe.” -Astrid

"Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself... know what you want." -Ingrid

"Everybody asks why I started at the end and worked back to the beginning. The reason is simple-I couldn’t understand the beginning until I had reached the end. There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing, too much you would never tell.” -Astrid

“She would be half a planet away, floating in a turquoise sea, dancing by moonlight to flamenco guitar.” -Astrid

"The pearls weren't really white, they were a warm oyster beige with little knots in between so if they broke, you only lost one. I wished my life could be like that, knotted up so that even if something broke, the whole thing wouldn't come apart." -Astrid

“in a perverse way, i was glad for the stitches, glad it would show, that there would be scars. what was the point in just being hurt on the inside? i thought of the girl with the scar tattoos at the crenshaw group home. she was right, it should bloody well show.” -Astrid

Simple Magic

The world is full of magic,

Ours for the making and ours for the taking

Don't look with your   

                                             eyes

instead; 

                                                                   see

 with your soul

grasp the colours of the trees,

 feel the wind caress your cheek 

and whisper in your ear

 become bewitched

                               by a child's laughter, 

see the knowledge in a seniors eyes

Appreciate 

the simplest things, for no day is like another

Exeunt

Not another word to leave your lips
Unless, however,
That word brushing along the tips
To grace my ear is "yes".

Monophobe

Touch me, Mould me, Change me
Make me into anything                          
Poison my thoughts, Taint my vision
Alter my reality
Take me away
Alienate ourselves for an eternity
Let's Journey to a place only for us two.

                                                 What would we be without all the lustre?