In a year's time

    How do you know when someone isn't coming back? How do you deal with losing someone who was the best part of your day? How do you walk around the house knowing you don't have those tiny paws that you have immortalized time and time again aren't following you? How do you lye in bed knowing that little ball of fur you live for isn't at your side, nestled under the covers wrapped tightly in your arms? How do you move the things she once used; her crate, her dishes, her toys, her pillows, her blankets? Where do you put them? Do you leave them in their place hoping she will come running down the stairs and into your arms? Do you move them into the garage to catch dust out of eyesight instead of inside the house where you can be reminded of her memory daily?

    I now know that after a year she isn't coming back. That her crate in my room is catching dust, isn't going to be inhabited again. Her dishes have since been moved out of sight into the garage, her blanket now has a home on my bed post and her pictures loiter my room. Her ashes sit on my top shelf, in  a beautiful urn i haven't seen in a years time for i haven't taken her out of the box.

    Today i am buying a new dresser that will go in my room where Belle's crate is. My puppy's crate will go into the garage to catch dust out of sight. Today I will also take my little Bellerina's urn out of the box to show it's beauty. I can no longer bear the sight of these things, I miss her too much but one thing is for sure, I will never forget the impact Belle had on my life and the eternal love she gave me on a daily basis.